My Dad has had a series of mini-strokes this past week. I had the full gamut of emotions course through me - I thought.
Today, I was sitting in a grocery store parking lot. Sweat was dripping down my sides, as I had the argument with myself whether I could manage to go get these few things, or if I should head home straight away. The latter won out, and now I STILL have to go do groceries, and I'm fed up with the feelings of dread that go with it.
I usually don't like going grocery shopping but this is a new level of frustrating.
So I'm wondering, is this a grief reaction, or just me hating the groceries like normal, a physical thing, a mental thing. . . very tempted to use those bad words I know kind of a time.
Whatever it is or isn't, I find myself teary in public places, and behaving irrationally in my opinion. My first thoughts were to share it with a friend, but my heart said no. Then I thought to contact my church, but wouldn't they expect my friends (also from the same church) to be taking care of us? Generally that's the way things work - we care for each other. My next thought was not to bother others, just to contact family to talk with. . . my husband is in meetings all day...why did it take ALL THAT to realize the one I need to talk to is God!?!
*sigh* He's enormously patient with me.
Now I have to go to work, so time to pull the grown up pants on and get to it!